Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize