so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
