due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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