I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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