he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
