we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
