I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
