I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
