I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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