Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
