there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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