I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
