last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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