why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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