WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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