We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
