how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
