Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize