i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
