Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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