Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
