I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
