This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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