so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
