no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
