Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
she smelled like a LAN party
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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