I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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