if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
How external is "for external use only"?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Panties = found
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
