and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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