she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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