I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
