I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
