I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
