We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Houston, we have a squirter
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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