i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He shit in the fireplace
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
