you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
