It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
