I wish I could teleport
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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