It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
