I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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