i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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