We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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