i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
