Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I want a musical about memes.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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