i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
