my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
