'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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