i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
