ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
