His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize