Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I don't deserve a penis
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
