Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
