3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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