i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
