Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
