Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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