And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
