I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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