and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
one might say we're banned from that church
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
