there was a trapeze. enough said
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
