guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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