She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
