brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
